I so wish this wasn't true. But, for every photo taken with their beautifully smiling faces, there are at least 10 moments of tears and tantrums that went uncaptured. I often hear from friends and family - "they're so happy!" "all they do is smile!" People don't believe me that my twins cry - A LOT I've tried to get some candid shots, but I just don't know why anyone would want pictures of my two screaming children in their photostreams. IMG_1481 Since the moment Baby A arrived, she's been LOUD. Baby B had to be gently coaxed by the nurses to take her first breath, though she's not far behind her sister in the decibel department. None of us could believe that two, teeny tiny, 5 pound babies could scream that way! I had visions of sweet, cuddly newborns circling in my head during my pregnancy - only to find that my babies shunned cuddling in favor of crying, sleeping in favor of waking, and contentment in favor of drama. We struggled with feeding issues and fussiness that I'm sure was some type of colic. We even bought them special baby hammocks to help soothe them at night. (They worked magic - for a little while at least!) Thankfully, they've turned into great sleepers at night - it's the daytime crying that takes it's toll. My twins have been incessantly drooling and teething every moment of every day since they were three months old. And no, the amber necklaces did NOT work. Sigh. [caption id="attachment_502" align="aligncenter" width="479"]If only they were always this peaceful! If only they were always this peaceful![/caption]  My twins cry for me. When they're being watched by others, they are perfect angels 99% of the time. When they were cast in a movie, people always remarked about their good-natured dispositions. I could quickly hand them off to their stage-mommy, and they'd smile at her happily until the scene was over. They are the babies that wave to passersby in Target, smile enthusiastically, and say "hi." When they're home with me, they go crazy. In the newborn stage, that just meant lots of crying for them while I tearfully breastfed on the couch and watched Hallmark movie marathons. As toddlers, it's tantrums, jealousy, and misery - often for no reason. They are the kind of kids that "scary cry," and I sometimes have to remind them to breathe! I wrote in to a multiples group on Facebook to see if anyone else experienced this. The verdict? Most moms do. Apparently, it's a thing. One mom suggested that I am their safe haven. I am the person they have come to rely on again and again, therefore, they let loose around me. They are unafraid to show their true feelings to me, both good and bad. They also probably feel that there isn't room enough for two in their "safe haven." This definitely makes sense to me. It's like the kids who are terrible at home, but lovely at school for their teachers, but toddler-style. Their little brains can't handle controlling their emotions all the time. Learning to maintain behavioral restraint is just too complex. Something or someone has got to give - and it's usually got to be mommy. IMG_1636 I don't really have any advice. I consider myself "in the trenches" of the crying mornings and tearful afternoons, with no solution in sight. What does ease my mind, is knowing that this might not last forever, (or maybe we'll take at least take a brief hiatus until the teen years!) I just try my best to please them both within my limits of sanity. I'm learning that these tiny humans are individuals. They are not just a copy & paste of one another. One is more sensitive, while the other is more sassy. One is more clingy, the other is more independent. One steals toys, the other steals food. They've been forced to share everything since day one of conception - I can't expect them to share emotions and needs too. IMG_1011

The beauty of the situation is this: getting to know their true personalities will help me tailor my approach to each child differently as time goes on. It's not going to be easy, but multitasking is the name of the game in Motherhood. Just know, that if your baby or babies are criers,  and you think there is no one else who understands.... you are not alone!

twin mom                                                                    (source) I'm here to talk, if you can manage to hear yourself think over the resounding tantrums.

(This post contains affiliate links - please see what that means here). What can I do to prepare myself for breastfeeding two babies?  AS9yco9z6ZreyzFwL3Srx7KyqoYx     1. If I could do it all over again – I would absolutely invest in a breastfeeding class to learn the basic mechanics of feeding your babies. Unfortunately, while nursing is the most natural thing in the world, it does not always come easily. Especially with twins that are likely to be somewhat premature, latching technique is very important. I watched video after video, but I couldn’t seem to understand how to get the perfect latch. An in-person class would have been beyond valuable.   2. Find a local IBCLC and put her on speed dial. Group meetings are great, but the truth of the matter is – you’re having TWO babies. Leaving the house can sometimes feel impossible. I went to group meetings weekly for breastfeeding, but also had several home visits that were absolutely vital to my success. My twins both had tongue and lip ties, anatomical issues that affected heir ability to get a good latch. I was in a lot of pain for the first 3-4 months, until we revised their ties (more on that later). There were times when I could not even fathom the thought of feeding my twins one more time – and as I felt that way, the clock wasn’t stopping. The seconds were whittling down until the next nursing session and the emotional and physical pain I suffered while I reluctantly repositioned my babies on my breast was unbearable. I needed help and I needed the help to come to me. I realize your average lactation consultant will probably cost you about $75-100 for a home visit and this might seem cost prohibitive. However, when you realize that a successful nursing relationship with your babies will literally save you thousands, the monetary expense no longer seems to matter. The IBCLC I saw saved our nursing relationship. Without her expertise and support, I would not still be nursing! IMG_1155 3. Join a local Facebook breastfeeding support group. If an IBCLC is not in your budget, or if you need a quick, on-the-fly response to a question these groups are absolutely amazing. I truly believe that we are missing a very important piece of the puzzle in today’s society – a village of women who understand and are willing to help one another. Many mothers or grandmothers didn’t breastfeed, many people feel uncomfortable talking about breastfeeding, or maybe you are the first of your friends to have a baby. Whatever the situation is, the reality is that women are supposed to help other women. Today’s village may not be the same as it was in the olden days where we gathered around a town square, but we do having amazing social media resources right at our fingertips. I cannot tell you how many times a complete stranger answered my questions and kept me nursing for just one more day. 4. Purchase a twin-nursing pillow. There are so many types available, I had the Twin Z pillow, which was better once the twins were older, but not so great for the newborn stage. (link to amazon here: Twin Z pillow ) I would recommend reading reviews, but anticipate having to play games with pillow set up underneath and around you to tandem nurse. I had to have my husband “set me up” a lot in the newborn phase to keep their heads and necks level. I also honestly loved using just a regular boppy and think they are totally underrated for nursing twins. (Link here). ARE9YkxnM26tbQfeUosUV_Q+CRPT IMG_0081 5. Think about renting a hospital grade pump. I was very misinformed about pumping before I had my girls. For some reason, I thought pumping would be unicorns and butterflies and giving bottles would give me a break. I couldn’t have been more wrong! Pumping is not only uncomfortable for a lot of moms, but it creates more work. When I could have sat and watched a corny hallmark movie while nursing my babies, I had to sit and listen to the most annoying sound in the world while this machine negotiated small amounts of milk into bottles that I had to then feed to the babies and clean. I hated every second that I pumped, but the hospital grade pump was much more comfortable and much more effective at bringing in an adequate milk supply than your standard personal pump.   6. Assess your partner’s attitude toward breastfeeding and knowledge level. My husband didn’t know much about breastfeeding, but he knew it was important to me. He also knew that it was also important to him. While he may have never thought about it prior to me getting pregnant, he did realize that giving his kids the best start possible was something he truly cared about. When times get tough, your husband should have your back. This is the same with female issues, like breastfeeding. He is still my number one support person, even though he hasn’t and never will breastfeed a baby. He lifted me up when I was down, wiped my tears when I was hormonal, and encouraged me to stick with MY plan. He knows all about latching, positioning, supply and demand – because we learned together. Discuss your goals with your partner, and together determine how you will support each other. IMG_1511 Didn't read part I? Check it out here: You CAN Breastfeed Your Twins - Part 1 Also - you can now view part III! You CAN Breastfeed Your Twins - Part 3 Have any thoughts or anything to add? I would love for you to comment!!