I so wish this wasn't true. But, for every photo taken with their beautifully smiling faces, there are at least 10 moments of tears and tantrums that went uncaptured. I often hear from friends and family - "they're so happy!" "all they do is smile!" People don't believe me that my twins cry - A LOT I've tried to get some candid shots, but I just don't know why anyone would want pictures of my two screaming children in their photostreams. IMG_1481 Since the moment Baby A arrived, she's been LOUD. Baby B had to be gently coaxed by the nurses to take her first breath, though she's not far behind her sister in the decibel department. None of us could believe that two, teeny tiny, 5 pound babies could scream that way! I had visions of sweet, cuddly newborns circling in my head during my pregnancy - only to find that my babies shunned cuddling in favor of crying, sleeping in favor of waking, and contentment in favor of drama. We struggled with feeding issues and fussiness that I'm sure was some type of colic. We even bought them special baby hammocks to help soothe them at night. (They worked magic - for a little while at least!) Thankfully, they've turned into great sleepers at night - it's the daytime crying that takes it's toll. My twins have been incessantly drooling and teething every moment of every day since they were three months old. And no, the amber necklaces did NOT work. Sigh. [caption id="attachment_502" align="aligncenter" width="479"]If only they were always this peaceful! If only they were always this peaceful![/caption]  My twins cry for me. When they're being watched by others, they are perfect angels 99% of the time. When they were cast in a movie, people always remarked about their good-natured dispositions. I could quickly hand them off to their stage-mommy, and they'd smile at her happily until the scene was over. They are the babies that wave to passersby in Target, smile enthusiastically, and say "hi." When they're home with me, they go crazy. In the newborn stage, that just meant lots of crying for them while I tearfully breastfed on the couch and watched Hallmark movie marathons. As toddlers, it's tantrums, jealousy, and misery - often for no reason. They are the kind of kids that "scary cry," and I sometimes have to remind them to breathe! I wrote in to a multiples group on Facebook to see if anyone else experienced this. The verdict? Most moms do. Apparently, it's a thing. One mom suggested that I am their safe haven. I am the person they have come to rely on again and again, therefore, they let loose around me. They are unafraid to show their true feelings to me, both good and bad. They also probably feel that there isn't room enough for two in their "safe haven." This definitely makes sense to me. It's like the kids who are terrible at home, but lovely at school for their teachers, but toddler-style. Their little brains can't handle controlling their emotions all the time. Learning to maintain behavioral restraint is just too complex. Something or someone has got to give - and it's usually got to be mommy. IMG_1636 I don't really have any advice. I consider myself "in the trenches" of the crying mornings and tearful afternoons, with no solution in sight. What does ease my mind, is knowing that this might not last forever, (or maybe we'll take at least take a brief hiatus until the teen years!) I just try my best to please them both within my limits of sanity. I'm learning that these tiny humans are individuals. They are not just a copy & paste of one another. One is more sensitive, while the other is more sassy. One is more clingy, the other is more independent. One steals toys, the other steals food. They've been forced to share everything since day one of conception - I can't expect them to share emotions and needs too. IMG_1011

The beauty of the situation is this: getting to know their true personalities will help me tailor my approach to each child differently as time goes on. It's not going to be easy, but multitasking is the name of the game in Motherhood. Just know, that if your baby or babies are criers,  and you think there is no one else who understands.... you are not alone!

twin mom                                                                    (source) I'm here to talk, if you can manage to hear yourself think over the resounding tantrums.

(This post contains affiliate links, thanks for your support! Also see disclaimer here.) I thought this week might be a good time to check in with my post-baby body progress. The last time I really took a look at my progress was January. My twins are now 17 months old! I haven't really lost much weight, maybe a few pounds that fluctuate. I definitely feel stronger and a little leaner. I'm still about 7 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight, but I don't really mind the scale too much. I've gained a lot of muscle, and I think a little more weight loss will come once the twins wean from breastfeeding. We are down to twice per day now, and it's probably going to happen sooner than later - definitely bittersweet! [caption id="attachment_485" align="aligncenter" width="510"]postpartum fitness                    14 months postpartum vs 17 months postpartum[/caption] I was just thinking about my mindset after I first had the twins. I was so self-conscious. I went from feeling like the most beautiful pregnant woman in the world, to feeling frumpy and exhausted. I know my expectations were unrealistic. I thought I would just "bounce back" after a few weeks - like the celebrities do. I wish we could all just accept that the timeline to get back in shape is most likely not 6 weeks for the average person. I'm hoping that through my real experiences you'll see that these changes take time and effort. I'm still not 100% where I'd like to be. I think pregnancy, especially twin pregnancy, is a lot for the body to handle. My body is now, and always will be, a work in progress. We need to be gentle with ourselves and not expect too much too soon. I'm just glad and proud to have gained so much strength and fit into my old jeans. At the end of the day - that's all that really matters! We've been loving the nicer weather and getting outside for some workouts! It's a nice change of scenery from the basement, plus it affords me the opportunity to workout when the babies are awake. Sometimes I need early morning & nap time for school work, so this is a great option. The twins have a great time running around and playing. They love to say "shoes" and their little faces light up when we get ready to go out. IMG_3795 IMG_3657 IMG_3691 Now onto the workouts! Monday: 4/11 Strength:  max chin ups x 3 max pull ups x 3 static ring holds, 20 seconds x 3 (I have these) push press - worked up to 95# WOD - 3 rounds: 15 box jumps 20 push press (45#) 15 ring rows 15 barbell good mornings cash out: 3 x 12 long sided barbell rows (I had a 25# plate on - see demo) 3 x 12 one-armed bent over rows (20# KB) Tuesday: 4/12 turkish get ups - did multiple sets with 20# KB until form suffered 3 rounds: 5 assisted pistols (each side) 10 KB cleans (each side) 3 x 10 OH triceps extension 3 x 10 dips 3 x 10 tricep pull down with band Wednesday: 4/13 5 sets of 10 back squats (65# - I don't have a squat rack) WOD - 3 rounds: 10 pushups 15 barbell hip thrusts (65#) 5 chest flies on the rings 10 reverse lunges (each leg) 10 single leg deadlifts (each leg) 10 goblet squats (35#) cash out: 3 x 10 hack squats 65# 3 x 10 glute kickbacks Thursday: 4/14 outside! 3 rounds: 20 KB swings (35#) 15 sumo deadlift high pull (35#) 10 burpees 10 sets of stroller sprints Friday: 4/15 Strength: max pull ups x 3 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 chin ups Power cleans: worked up to 105#. Couldn't get 115, though I tried!!! WOD - 5 rounds: 5 snatches (65#) 10 hanging knee raises 30 second plank 100 jump ropes Saturday: 4/16 rest day! Sunday: 4/17 max chin ups x 3 3 x 3 negative pull ups 3 x 10 ring rows WOD - 3 rounds: 14 push press (65#) 14 straight leg deadlift (65#) 7 burpees took me about 8 minutes, I was slow. 3 rounds: max ring hold max wall sit 10 hanging knee raises 10 lying leg lifts Monday: 4/18 warm up: jump rope deadlifts - worked up to 5 sets at 165! That's all for this week. Let me know if you did any great workouts in the comments! Always looking for inspiration :-)